http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ CityCyclingEdinburgh Forum » Topic: Groan en Mon, 18 May 2026 20:14:17 +0000 http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176898 Tue, 06 Jan 2015 10:27:32 +0000 steveo 176898@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Two men walk into a bar... Boom Boom. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176893 Tue, 06 Jan 2015 09:17:03 +0000 ARobComp 176893@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Two pieces of string walk into the same bar. </p> <p>The barman shouts - "Get out - We don't serve pieces of string in here!!" </p> <p>They go back out onto the street. The first piece of string says "I'm going back in and I'm going to get served" </p> <p>The second says - "never - he'll never serve a piece of string" </p> <p>The first says - "I'll disguise myself then" </p> <p>He rubs himself up against a wall, ties himself up in tangles and then scrubs his side on a thorny bush until it's all broken and damaged. </p> <p>He walks back into the bar... </p> <p>The barman says suspiciously - "Hey you - Are you a piece of string?" </p> <p>The piece of string says - "No, I'm a frayed-knot" </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176892 Tue, 06 Jan 2015 07:56:21 +0000 gembo 176892@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>There was a thread that I asked if it could end with Mornington Crescent but after that card had been played it did not end. So then I tried Morningside Crescent and that worked. Can't for the life of me remember what the thread was about? </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176890 Tue, 06 Jan 2015 00:29:27 +0000 dougal 176890@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>If there were a Mornington Crescent thread you wouldn't be able to link us directly to it. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176889 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 23:48:27 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 176889@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Pretty sure there was a Mornington Crescent thread here for a while.... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176888 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 23:15:41 +0000 SRD 176888@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Oddly the BBC panel shows of this ilk were widely repeated on US National Public Radio (NPR) but not in Canada on CBC radio. So, while I grew up more familiar with British books and TV, Mr SRD's family was getting all the radio shows. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176886 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 23:06:13 +0000 Greenroofer 176886@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>@ih, that's the one. How we laughed indeed.</p> <p>I <em>did</em> laugh at the one about the woman who went into a bar and asked for a double entendre, but that's probably not suitable for here.</p> <p>I'm unsurprised to find that <em>I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue</em> has numerous listeners on here. Is it something you have to have grown up with so that you understand why the audience think references to Samantha, Lionel Blair and Mrs Trellis cause such hilarity? </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176885 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 23:03:20 +0000 gembo 176885@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>A woman walked into a boozer and asked the bar man for a double entendre, so he gave her one. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176879 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 20:16:25 +0000 ih 176879@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Jack Dee had mentioned the Highway Code, and went on to explain, "The Highway Code is the book that describes the rules of the road - that's just in case there are any cyclists listening." How we laughed. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176876 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 19:35:58 +0000 Greenroofer 176876@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>@paddyirish: the anti-bike one wasn't the one you quoted, it was something about the Highway Code. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176870 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 19:13:11 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 176870@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>That skeleton gag is anti-dead people!</p> <p>;) </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176866 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 17:31:04 +0000 paddyirish 176866@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>@greenroofer</p> <p>Heard it from my F-I-L, and that sounds a highly likely source. Didn't think it was particularly anti-bike though -just a groan-worthy gag... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176859 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 16:10:12 +0000 Greenroofer 176859@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>@paddyirish I think you have been listening to <em>I'm sorry I haven't a clue</em>. The most recent episode had another anti bike joke at the top of the programme which a lot of the audience laughed at, but which I've since forgotten. </p> <p>I liked another from the programme: a skeleton walked into a bar and said "I'd like a pint of lager and a mop". </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176848 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:49:49 +0000 deckard112 176848@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Same pub...two sweets this time. A third walks in when first sweet says to second "Be careful with him, he's menthol!"</p> <p>Boom tish, I'm here all week. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=14184#post-176832 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 13:26:36 +0000 paddyirish 176832@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>The M1 and the M6 were in a pub when another bit of tarmac came in and ordered a drink.<br /> "Don't look at him" said the M1.<br /> "Why?" said the M6 turning round to look<br /> The M1 grabbed the M6 and said "I mean it - don't look at him"<br /> "OK, OK. I won't. But I don't get it, why?"<br /> "He's a cycle path"</p> <p>I'll get my coat... </p>