http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ CityCyclingEdinburgh Forum » Topic: bike joke du jour en Wed, 17 Jun 2026 01:12:49 +0000 http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-216550 Thu, 14 Apr 2016 09:04:57 +0000 Stephan Matthiesen 216550@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Today's cycling joke on <a href="https://twitter.com/TantePolly/status/720354818733137920">Twitter</a> - will translate it when I find the time...</p> <p><a href="https://twitter.com/TantePolly/status/720354818733137920"><img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cf8249UW4AAfVWO.jpg"></a> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-216003 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:38:07 +0000 Stephan Matthiesen 216003@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Follow-up on the UKIP manifesto to raise the drink-driving limit:</p> <p>Q: "How much do I have to drink to reach the drink-driving limit?"</p> <p>A: "You? Nothing for three days." </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215593 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 18:56:17 +0000 gembo 215593@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Very slightly Tarmac related - piece of string goes into a bar and asks for a pint of heavy<br /> Barman says no we do not serve string. String gets very upset and goes out into the street and hurls itself at the Tarmac and starts writhing around on the road getting all dirty and scuffed and tied up in a fankle. Finally tires of this and goes back into the bar and asks for a pint of heavy. Batman says, look, I told you earlier, you are a piece of string and we don't serve string. The string says I'm a frayed knot. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215591 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 18:09:05 +0000 Stephan Matthiesen 215591@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Are political jokes allowed? Here's a classic:</p> <p>A listener phones in to Radio Yerevan: "Is it true that comrade Ivanovich won a red car?"</p> <p>Answer from Radio Yerevan: "In principle, yes that's true. But that wasn't Ivanovich, it was Petrovich. And it wasn't red, it was blue. Also, it wasn't a car, it was a bicycle. Furthermore, he didn't win it, it was stolen. But everything else is true." </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215583 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 17:08:47 +0000 Stephan Matthiesen 215583@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>At the police station:<br /> "Officer, my bike has been stolen."<br /> "Can you describe it? Did it have lights?"<br /> "No"<br /> "Did it have a bell?"<br /> "No"<br /> "That's a 20 pound fine then..." </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215581 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 17:01:25 +0000 Stephan Matthiesen 215581@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>"Our dog used to chase everybody on a bike."</p> <p>"So what did you do to stop him?"</p> <p>"We took away his bicycle..." </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215576 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 16:12:49 +0000 cb 215576@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Bloke walks in with a big bit of tarmac under his arm.</p> <p>"Pint for me, and one for the road".</p> <p>Any more tarmac related pub jokes? </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215570 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 15:37:55 +0000 acsimpson 215570@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>A 7 foot cycle lane. That's the best April Fools joke I've heard today. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=16227#post-215568 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 15:22:50 +0000 Edinburgh Cycle Training 215568@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Pinched from a mate of a mate on facebook:</p> <p>A great big seven foot bit of green tarmac walks into a pub and says, "Pint of bitter barman, and don't argue because i'm tarmac, I'm hard as owt. Cars drive over me all day and I feel nothing". The barman thinks, "Don't like the look of him", but serves the tarmac to keep the peace.</p> <p>A few minutes later a seven foot bit of black tarmac walks into the pub and says, "Pint of bitter barman and don't give me any grief because I'm motorway tarmac and I'm hard as owt. Trucks drive over me all day and I feel nothing."</p> <p>The barman nervously serves the bit of motorway tarmac.<br /> Time passes and the two bits of tarmac stand at the end of the bar, have a few more beers, begin to get rowdy and start squaring up to each other.</p> <p>"There's going to be bother soon", thinks the barman.<br /> Then a seven foot bit of red tarmac walks into the bar. The green and black tarmac immediately quieten down and start quivering nervously. The barman goes over to them and asks them what is the matter.</p> <p>The black tarmac whispers to him, "Don't serve that red tarmac - he's a cycle path". </p>