http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ CityCyclingEdinburgh Forum » Topic: How would you make the swans in Holyrood park safer from traffic? en Mon, 01 Jun 2026 01:27:17 +0000 http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448&page=2#post-87598 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 20:12:07 +0000 SRD 87598@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>and here's the original thread, for those who missed it first (and second) time round. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448&page=2#post-63080 Wed, 28 Mar 2012 10:29:34 +0000 Uberuce 63080@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Build ejector seats for the little aliens that control the swans.</p> <p>What, you didn't know swans are merely biotomatons controlled by shy but easily displeased extraterrestrials stranded on Earth after their spaceship crashed? Well, now you do.</p> <p>I can prove it. Any alien technology capable of crossing the unthinkably vast depths of interstellar space would plainly be able to manange landing, right? Well, look at how hilariously ungainly swans when landing or taking flight. That's why they're stuck here. Proof. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448&page=2#post-63072 Wed, 28 Mar 2012 09:42:20 +0000 chdot 63072@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>After the new (annual) <a href="http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=5905">toad thread</a> thought I'd resurrect this from the CCE archive.</p> <p>Come a long way in 2 years (but not very far).</p> <p>(There was even a competition - <a href="http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=454">Golden Swan Award</a>) </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3947 Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:20:08 +0000 chdot 3947@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/stu_kerr/4438497369/">Found some more swans</a>. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3500 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:47:48 +0000 spytfyre 3500@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Deport them to Linlithgow loch as Asylum beakers... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3478 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:03:29 +0000 chdot 3478@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>This is where the swans should be.</p> <p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/chdot/4416498927"><br /> <img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4063/4416498927_08d6914927.jpg"><br /> </a></p> <p>(The bike was an accident!) </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3397 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 09:56:58 +0000 LaidBack 3397@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>I'm about to announce the winner of the Golden Swan Award... </p> <p>Over on other thread.... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3389 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 23:51:44 +0000 Kim 3389@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>That was four hours ago! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3378 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:28:32 +0000 Cyclingmollie 3378@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Sheesh Anth even Davina doesn't keep people waiting three hours. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3375 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:49:06 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 3375@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>*fiddles with bow tie*</p> <p>*holds gold envelope* </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3374 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:39:13 +0000 chdot 3374@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>I heard that too... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3373 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:35:40 +0000 LaidBack 3373@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Much mention of Swan Vestas by <a href="http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=451">Tom on BBC Radio Scotland</a>. I've heard that a winner may have been decided. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3372 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:46:45 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 3372@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Hehehehe, nah, it's a cracking shot! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3371 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:40:59 +0000 miggy_magic 3371@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Aye, no bother anth, with pleasure :-)</p> <p>If you click on the image you should get to my flickr page which has a higher resolution version although that exposes my pisspoor Photoshop skills even more! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3370 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:34:38 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 3370@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>This is too good to be left just on the forum - everyone okay if I pillage this for a short piece in citycycling (going online tonight!)? I'll stick a link back directly to the thread. And Miggy, can I use that image??? </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3368 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:42:39 +0000 SRD 3368@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Tell everyone that they are a rare breed of long-necked baby seals, and you'd get hordes of celebrities out 'protecting' them. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3367 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:29:01 +0000 wee folding bike 3367@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Following the Brown/Blair doctrine I would protect the swans in Edinburgh by attacking the ducks on the other side of the world. </p> <p>Expect a shock and awe event in Drumpelier country park any day now. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3365 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:04:10 +0000 LaidBack 3365@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Thanks. I also might ask the 'moderators' to judge. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3360 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:40:45 +0000 Min 3360@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>You seem to be able to create polls on this forum so give it a go! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3358 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 23:22:10 +0000 LaidBack 3358@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Impressed with the amount of thought that has gone into all of these suggestions. Can I do a ballot? </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3354 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:12:22 +0000 Cyclingmollie 3354@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>'S easy. Set up some fake swans filled with high explosive. Drivers would learn to avoid them if they knew that they also faced death in a collision with one. The Evening News would help spread the word. Simples. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3353 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 21:55:33 +0000 Min 3353@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>ROFL, genius! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3352 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 21:48:09 +0000 miggy_magic 3352@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mcgeown/4404138245"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4038/4404138245_9bb4c19b81.jpg"></p> <p></a> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3351 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:21:14 +0000 miggy_magic 3351@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><strong>Prisoners</strong> should be employed by Her Majesty as "swan wardens" to ensure they maintain adherence to non-road areas. Errant birds could be encouraged back into safe areas by following a bit of bread on a stick held by a swan warden.</p> <p>This would be a prudent economical solution and would also assist the prisoners' reintegration into society.</p> <p><em>Violent inmates or those with swan allergies would of course be exempt.</em> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3350 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:38:51 +0000 LaidBack 3350@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Many of these suggestions sound incredibly believable. I'm worried now... ! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3348 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:35:13 +0000 Arellcat 3348@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Clearly CEC has no outright power to make improvements to the area, so it should make representations to the Queen, requesting a swan dispersal and relocation order. A suitable replacement site should be identified through the formation of a dedicated Holyrood/RSPB task force, which will produce a 400 page report detailing pond slope angles, current and predicted nesting requirements for the next 25 years, a full methodology for ensuring consistent water quality, a swan removal and relocation contract specification, and a proposal to Parliament for a new Swan Safety (Scotland) Bill. This will require approximately six years to enact in law. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3347 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:32:00 +0000 Min 3347@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Well if swans wore vests it will keep then warm in winter too. ;-)</p> <p>Dave-"Also, let's not forget that the innocent hard-done by drivers are paying "road tax" while the swans are freeloading. "</p> <p>I think you are being unfair. They should ALSO have to pay fuel tax on all the waterweed and Kingsmill they eat.</p> <p>Laidback-"We could set up a group of 'Swan Trainers' to teach them how to use them. So this could become a useful source of employment. Good one. "</p> <p>Not only that but drivers will then be fully justified in mowing down any swan which may deviate from the Swanway. If they don't want to scratch their car they can always just scream and swear instead. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3346 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:05:25 +0000 Stepdoh 3346@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>I remember seeing something about 'Swan Vestas' that were good for lighting up? Is that some sort of high vis thing?</p> <p>Sorry. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3345 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:57:47 +0000 LaidBack 3345@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em>'Segregated Swanways'</em></p> <p>We could set up a group of 'Swan Trainers' to teach them how to use them. So this could become a useful source of employment. Good one. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=448#post-3344 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:55:02 +0000 Dave 3344@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Clearly the reason they are being run down is because they're not doing enough to be visible to drivers. I mean, it's hard enough trying to apply makeup while on the phone at 40mph in a 20 zone without having to look out for swans not wearing high viz and without lights!</p> <p>Also, let's not forget that the innocent hard-done by drivers are paying "road tax" while the swans are freeloading. Until swans pay the same as drivers, they'll just have to watch out! </p>