http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ CityCyclingEdinburgh Forum » Topic: Who is up for a spoof news story? en Mon, 18 May 2026 10:28:31 +0000 http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805&page=2#post-60899 Tue, 13 Mar 2012 17:11:40 +0000 cb 60899@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Having been enjoying <a href="http://literallyunbelievable.org">Literally Unbelievable</a> of late I'm literally convinced that these spoof news stories would fool people. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805&page=2#post-60889 Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:51:27 +0000 DaveC 60889@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>@wingpig, Its entrapment you're honour, we was directed to do these wrong doing, honest! I ain't done nufink!! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-60887 Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:42:38 +0000 wingpig 60887@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><strong>Local newspaper website trolls 'overjoyed' at cyclists' arrests</strong></p> <p>Plumes of righteous invective up to twenty feet high were spurting from the communication orifices of Evening News website commenters this evening after two law-breaking cyclists were arrested after being photographed cycling on a footpath. During an undercover police operation paid for out of the public purse, an undercover Motorist Protection Squad officer posed as an Evening News photographer and lured the cyclists into a minor breach of the law whilst pretending to photograph them for this newspaper. Further photographs purporting to show cyclists not wearing gloves and blinking have been submitted to the procurator fiscal. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-55041 Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:37:16 +0000 amir 55041@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>"<em>Edinburgh City Council denied that their plan to bring in the congestion charge was simply to fill the funding black hole. Instead they said the scheme had been modified so that cyclists passing through the cordon would be paid. They said that this would encourage motorists onto bikes and hence reduce congestion, pollution and improve health</em>" </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-53227 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:42:40 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 53227@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>If it is genuine then this is bizarre:</p> <p>"<em>Caroline Burnell, press officer for Mercedes Benz UK, said: This is a concept at present and the technology would be used to enhance the driver experience, not to detract from it. Regarding distractions, under the Mercedes-Benz philosophy the multimedia systems are designed to support the driver and enhance driver-fitness safety.</em>"</p> <p>How on earth does accessing Facebook <em>enhance the driver experience</em>? And their multimedia systems <em>suuport and enhance driver-fitness safety</em>? You what???? </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-53222 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:42:14 +0000 slowcoach 53222@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Not sure if this story on <a href="http://www.roadsafetygb.org.uk/news/2002.html">Road Safety GB's website</a> is a spoof or not - <blockquote><em>Mercedes has announced a partnership with Facebook which will allow drivers to check their status updates while on the move ... a new in vehicle telematics system will allow drivers to check their status updates on the move with a specially designed pared down menu system designed to minimise distractions ... the system “will not only allow drivers to update their pages at 75 mph without using a smartphone, but also tie into the car's navigation system to alert all their nearby friends along the way”.</em></blockquote> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-53195 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 10:49:49 +0000 steveo 53195@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em><strong>Lights to be modified to "stay open" for cyclists</strong></p> <p>Edinburgh's traffic lights are to be modified to hold on green if they detect an approaching bicycle. Edinburgh council have taken the decision to try to boost the level of cycle use in the capital as part of it Model Cycling City Initiative. In a statement from the Roads Department "This is purely a change to the software which controls the light sequence, it will require no material change to the the lights them selves and will have a very low capital cost. We expect only a small disruption to traffic flow on major routes."</em></p> <p>Needs a froth at the mouth response from the Taxi Drivers Union. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51236 Sat, 24 Dec 2011 20:13:38 +0000 gembo 51236@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>This is how the news gets made [made-up] anyway. See Bad News by Greg Philo and the Glasgow Media Group and sequels e.g Really Bad News.</p> <p>The colour blind cyclist jumping red lights will be in EEN in 2012. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51231 Sat, 24 Dec 2011 18:18:03 +0000 kaputnik 51231@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>chrishoy<br /> <strong>Chris Hoy</strong><br /> <em>Delighted to be back home in Edinburgh for Christmas...</em><br /> 1 hour ago</p> <p>chrishoy<br /> <strong>Chris Hoy</strong><br /> <em>....but not so delighted that I can't park outside my own flat as council won't sell me a parking permit as its not my main residence!</em><br /> 1 hour ago</p> <p>Actually, that's not a spoof... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51222 Sat, 24 Dec 2011 10:13:01 +0000 Nelly 51222@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Indeed !</p> <p>Hope that didnt offend any fiat owners ! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51220 Sat, 24 Dec 2011 09:15:01 +0000 Uberuce 51220@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Nice use of Fiat 500 there! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51200 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:14:35 +0000 Nelly 51200@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>'Edinburgh council to install secure bike parking in the street as solution to overcrowded stairwells.</p> <p>The hi tech bike sheds will take up 5 car parking spaces per 100 in zoned parking areas.</p> <p>Araminta Fothergill, who works in PR commented "I pay a fortune for the permit, parking my Fiat 500 will prove impossible in stockbridge, and how will Quentin be able to get the Jag parked once he leaves his west end asset management job, I mean he works long hours, not like these cycling oiks, they dont pay road tax anyway"</p> <p>Motoring organisations are also horrified at losing vital parking bays in already overcrowded city centre. ' </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51193 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 17:17:42 +0000 Uberuce 51193@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em>Community shocked by murder of local man's 9 seconds in impede-and-run cyclist attack in Edinburgh suburb.</p> <p>The funeral of 42 year old Murrayfield resident Hyock Tain's 9 seconds will be held on Tuesday, after a what community leaders and motoring groups are describing as a 'sickeningly callous and premeditated attack' by a cyclist, who at this time remains at large.</p> <p>Mr Tain, visibly distressed, spoke at a police press conference appealing for witnesses, while Chief Inspector Fiulehedd related how the murderer slaughtered his 9 seconds, just 100 yards from Balgreen Primary school, with an attack known in cycling's underworld as 'taking primary.' </em></p> <p>Need to change the names for a real spoof, but for here I thought I'd leave them in </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51170 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:26:05 +0000 tarmac jockey 51170@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Anth - looking forward this development in the New Year.<br /> "Colour blind cyclist claims it is impossible for him to run a red light" </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51169 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:15:13 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 51169@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Really like the pagan one. Perfect for Daily Wail style ranting. I'm going to set up the 'news' pages on cc and start on these properly in the new year! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51168 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:12:46 +0000 Cyclingmollie 51168@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>That's very good Uberuce. How about <em>"Council to pay cyclists to filter polluted city air with their lungs". </em> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51126 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:56:20 +0000 Arellcat 51126@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em>Pagan cyclist wins EU Human Rights case to run red lights. "Sacred colour of sun's motion at dawn" claims 38 year old 'warlock' from Penicuik</em></p> <p>What, really? Good heavens!</p> <p>Sorry, too Financial Timesy a response there, I'll try to sound more apoplectic.</p> <p>WHAT? THOSE CYCLISTS ARE AT IT AGAIN! ALL OF THEM!! etc. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51125 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:49:21 +0000 LaidBack 51125@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em>Pagan cyclist wins EU Human Rights case to run red lights. "Sacred colour of sun's motion at dawn" claims 38 year old 'warlock' from Penicuik</em></p> <p>That's good.. very good... Has all the elements that chip wrappers thrive on! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51118 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 19:59:53 +0000 Uberuce 51118@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em>Pagan cyclist wins EU Human Rights case to run red lights. "Sacred colour of sun's motion at dawn" claims 38 year old 'warlock' from Penicuik</em> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51098 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 16:27:46 +0000 SRD 51098@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>on a slight tangent, you gotta love the last lines of the <a href="http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/ten_year_legal_row_sees_bodies_lie_in_mortuary_1_2021319">EEN headline news story</a>:</p> <p> "is not unusual for bodies to be stored for long periods ..... The city council said they have been in regular communication with them trying to resolve this situation, " </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51097 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:59:39 +0000 wingpig 51097@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p><em>"Irresponsible internet cyclists frighten innocent drivers with falsified anti-motorist propaganda."</em> </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51094 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:46:40 +0000 tarmac jockey 51094@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>"Government considering plans to fit assist handles on the rear of cars to help limp legged cyclist make it up the hills in Edinburgh". </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51092 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:45:26 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 51092@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Would be more: "Motorists to pay for raised cycle lanes through diversion of road tax" </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51090 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:40:24 +0000 tarmac jockey 51090@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Is this the kind of thing?<br /> "Elevated cycling lanes to be installed above roads for scaredy cat cyclists" </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51082 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:40:16 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 51082@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>I'm considering a 'news' page for citycycling with press releases - means I can link to something, and there would be quotes and everything. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51080 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:38:16 +0000 steveo 51080@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>If you beef it up you could get it published to Newsbiscuit, tragically though it is clearly a satirical news site. </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51078 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:35:06 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 51078@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Steveo, as you'll see, that was my line of thinking... I'm sure the likes of the Wail would end up reporting it! </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51077 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:34:33 +0000 Wilmington's Cow 51077@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>I can see a number of these coming to light in the next few weeks.</p> <p>One a day should do it! I wonder if I can get one reported in the news... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51076 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:34:21 +0000 steveo 51076@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>This could be quite funny. I wonder how long it would take before some lazy journo publishes it with out checking their sources... </p> http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/topic.php?id=4805#post-51074 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:33:24 +0000 cb 51074@http://citycyclingedinburgh.info/bbpress/ <p>Motorway hard shoulders to be converted to cycle lanes? </p>