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Aqueduct etiquette

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  1. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    Headed home in the genial company of Greenroofer last night, we came across a new canal situation. At the entrance to bridge six, in Wester Hailes a gentleman was dancing rather enthusiatically on the towpath to the music in his headphones. He was middle aged, topless, wearing shorts and quite absorbed in what he was doing. He had the build of a dancer - lean and muscular, and his dancing resembled that of the Skilz Dat Kilz team in the film Dodgeball - a sort of athletic hip-hop moonwalk.

    Greenroofer declared 'coming through!' and went past. I hesitated and got a barrage of Polish for my pains. I recognised the word for 'thank you' but nothing else. I think he was upset because I cycled on his shadow - a heretofore unsuspected piece of aqueduct etiquette.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  2. wingpig
    Member

    Was he progressing (presumably backwards, if his moves looked moonwalky) or just staying in the same place? Wonder how long it would take him to cross the aqueduct doing that without breaking form.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  3. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @wingpig

    To get quantum mechanical for a moment, he was subject to rotation and vibration. There was no translation, suggesting that he might have been subjected to a very specific mode of excitation.

    I like your idea of furious moonwalking on the aqueduct to the bafflement of waiting cyclists. I'm also intrigued by the thought of mooncycling.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  4. wingpig
    Member

    "I'm also intrigued by the thought of mooncycling."

    Should be doable with a fixie and a chain of sufficient length to figure-of-eight-it...

    Posted 9 years ago #

  5. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    Following on from @jdanielp's observation last week that 2Kool4Skool's handlebars have sprouted bar-end mirrors, I would have clipped one this morning if I hadn't ridden an inch off the tarmac.

    I'll let him away with the aesthetic faux pas of the three spoke white plastic wheels he's now sporting, but his bike is frankly getting 2Wide4Passing.

    Harry Hill used to do a sketch about secret incremental increases to the size of his mum's mash scoop.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  6. gembo
    Member

    thought I spotted a disguised IWRATS today, no lid, in black tshirt, specs. but now I think maybe smiled at a stranger, that is all right.

    I did spot Front panniers as hoover guy.

    He has a child seat on the back and uses EBC rear panniers (which are not huge) on the front, or maybe they are front rollers but they just clear the towpath so looks like he is hoovering.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  7. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @gembo

    Thanks for the grin, but it were not I. Fluo yellow top and bleeding forearm after over-exuberant passage through Greenroofer's railway snicket. Big Monday rucksack with week's work kit and the shoes I never polished at the weekend.

    I like the idea of Hoover Guy - I'll keep an eye out for him. Perhaps he hoovered up the dead vole?

    Posted 9 years ago #

  8. gembo
    Member

    yes I saw the wee vole but he had been through with his hoover by that point.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  9. jdanielp
    Member

    Hmm, I don't remember seeing a dead vole this morning. I hope that I wasn't in any way responsible for its demise.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  10. gembo
    Member

    was closer to the north side of the path when I saw it

    Posted 9 years ago #

  11. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    Yes, the vole was felled by an out of towner. Our consciences are clear.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  12. ARobComp
    Member

    I traversed the aqueduct at rush hour (ish) yesterday with the lovely and much more nice to look at Miss ARobComp in tow after a ride up and down the WoL investigating her new commute. We got off and walked across as it was very busy and everyone else was walking and I am really bad at giving in to peer pressure.

    With my bike I just lifted it up and held it out over the water however the SO's is a big heavy sit up and beg which she had to maneuvre past everyone.

    Apart from that I tried to be cheery to everyone and smile. Joggers seemed less cheerful than cyclists.

    About 2 minutes later I almost ran over a dog and then was almost hit by a young lady performing a blind corner overtake. Then we got burned by two chaps going rather too quickly for the canal at that time IMHO.

    So basically I'm now a fully fledged canal user right? I think I only missed a lilac helmetted lady spot.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  13. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @ARobComp

    Your induction to the canal community is almost complete. Within a week something absurd will happen to you, or you will see something so beautiful and so unexpected that you stop to marvel. I will miss the canal when this commute ends in December.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  14. Kenny
    Member

    I think I need to get in on some of this aquaduct / canal commuting lark. Despite the fact that it's about 4 miles away from me, in the complete opposite direction to where work is. I must say that the thought of attempting to spot the purple helmeted cyclist is almost, on its own, enough to persuade me to take a ~10 mile detour.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  15. Snowy
    Member

    attempting to spot the purple helmeted cyclist

    Is that a euphemism?

    Probably best sticking with 'lilac helmeted'...

    Posted 9 years ago #

  16. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    I met The Suit on the aqueduct last night. He has dropped the suit in favour of some M&S beachwear, but by his terror of going on the canal side of the path shall ye know him. He pulled in to the right, but only just, so I had to tip-toe round him. As I passed, he informed me conspiratorially that 'It's that lot behind me - they're bonkers!'.

    Behind him were some Wester Hailes junkie types who'd cleaned themselves up a bit and decided to form a canal bylaw enforcement club. I declined to push my bicycle over the 'duct and just let them pass as per standard aquaquette.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  17. gembo
    Member

    I met the chair of the wester hailes canal by-law enforcement committee. He helpfully informed me I should dismount. He was not wearing a top, he did have a pit bull and he was drinking alcohol from the bottle. Seemed nice enough. He was quite persistent. He said Well are you getting off your bike? I said No. He said but it is the law why are you not getting off? I said It is an unenforceable law. he seemed to like this.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  18. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @gembo

    The very chap! I found his girlfriend's aspect to be more combative than the pitbull's, which seemed pretty mellow.

    I did have a menu option of attempting to explain that the by-laws only apply within the reasonableness test of the Land Reform (Scotland) Act 2003, but thought better of it.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  19. gembo
    Member

    Front pannier Hoover man had the lime green covers on his panniers. I have the tangerine if I am using my EBC ones, which I am not as I am back on ortlieb thanks to the majesty that is Mcnett seamgrip.

    Also for election - Dictaphone Man

    Posted 9 years ago #

  20. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    Just as I passed Sleeves Up and the new family of five coming the other way on the canal this morning I got a wasp stuck in my helmet. It stung me, naturally. Wouldn't you, under the same circumstances?

    Now Sleeves Up has me catalogued as The Man Who Tears At His Own Head In Front Of Small Children.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  21. gembo
    Member

    Sorry to hear of this
    did you have any vinegar to douse yourself with?

    Rutger was on aqueduct in front of me. Did a funny wee step over invisible brick. I avoided it too. He was just waiting for me to ping him with my bell but i did not as I have been to Rygell 5

    also wee dead mouse at hermiston

    Posted 9 years ago #

  22. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @gembo

    Alas, the invisible brick step is often a side-effect of early generation anti-psychotic medication. It was a not uncommon gait in Morningside when I lived there.

    I had no vinegar but availed myself of a colleague's acid tongue. All is well now.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  23. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    On the 'duct this morning a citizen on foot suggested I should dismount. I explained that I don't do that in order to keep my width to a minimum, which is to his benefit.

    He countered with the canal by-laws.

    I counter-countered with the Land Reform (Scotland) Act of 2003 as explained by @morningsider of this parish. I'm pretty sure that citizens quoting the law to each other is a referendum side effect. We are all very clued up now.

    As an aside he mentioned that he'd previously used the railway bridge to cross the Water of Leith, which suggests he's more Braveheart than I am.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  24. AKen
    Member

    I would suggest anyone who is using the railway bridge may not be in a position to lecture others about by-laws.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  25. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @AKen

    An excellent point which I totally missed.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  26. wingpig
    Member

    Did he specifically say used it to cross the WoL whilst not travelling in a train?

    Posted 9 years ago #

  27. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @wingpig

    He didn't, no, which suggests he may not be on CCE.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  28. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    Some pretty crazy behaviour on the canal last night. I worked late and had to fix a puncture so it was well dark. Chocolate labradors were being exercised by unlit citizens in black clothing. One I only spotted due to their blocking out some of the 'landing lights' further up the path in a process similar to astronomical occultation. It's not like LED torches are expensive these days....

    Posted 9 years ago #

  29. neddie
    Member

    Why should pedestrians have to light up and don special clothing any more than cyclists? Cyclists should be aware that ninja pedestrians and dogs will be present on the towpath and travel accordingly i.e. slowly.

    Posted 9 years ago #

  30. I were right about that saddle
    Member

    @edd1e_h

    Shared path, mate, so shared responsibilities in my view. I make myself seen and heard not because I'm on a bicycle but because I am there.

    Posted 9 years ago #

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