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IT’S TRUE!
CCE is 15years old!
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not resolvedI don't mean the looney juice popular with students and goths...
... there's a question in today's Radio Times Eggheads quiz where it asks,
"'Bonk' and 'snakebite' are two hazards to avoid in which sport"
I've heard of bonking (and done it), so I correctly guessed cycling.
But what's "snakebite"?
Puncture, usually when the tyre is quite low, hit something solid and it nips the tyre on the rim, causing two holes side by side, lookign like a snakebite.
Puncture?
Ah, beaten, and with a 'proper' explanation...
Ah, right. I don't think I'd ever heard that expression. I must live a sheltered life.
What's bonking? Mother and I never had "the talk"...
When your body runs out of energy.
Your legs turn into jelly and you feel all wobbly and you have no food. It usually happens at the furthest away point of your ride and the way home will be into a headwind.
Ah. Got bonked just after Linlithgow on my first attempt to reach the Falkirk wheel along the canal a few weeks ago.
Correct use?
It's just "bonked". As in "Bonked after Linlithgow"
I am an expert on bonking. I've bonked all over the country.
(steady now)
"Bonked". Or "got the bonk". But never "got bonked" or "got the bonked".
I understand. Of course I'm going to be using this new learned phrase at every opportunity when speaking to the missus.
Bananas are a good way to avoid bonking.
A McMuffin, however, is not.
glucose tablets are light to carry and have lots of energy. Energy drinks are good but heavy.
"Bonked". Or "got the bonk". But never "got bonked" or "got the bonked".
Ah, the old transitive/intransitive verb rule. I also suppose one ought to say "I tired" rather than "I got tired". "Got the bonked" feels like it should be written in Internet, such as "Moar rides! Get teh bonked!".
A McMuffin, however, is not.
Neither is stuffing your face with a full Scottish Breakfast and then doing 40 miles along the B840 and trying to sprint the long climb past Ardbrecknish.
Soreen, jelly babies, Jamaica Ginger Bread, Fig Rolls. All good agents of bonk avoidance.
My experience of energy "tablets" is that they don't take kindly to being in a slightly sweaty back pocket once the foil has been opened to get the first tablet out.
I only like jelly babies out of those. Think I'll try a banana with a few jelly babies pushed in. Superfood.
For medium distance rides, I use energy drinks made up from powder (e.g. SIS). This doesn't add significant weight as I would carry water anyway (important to hydrate). For longer distances, I add cereal bars, cake or whatever happens along the route.
Oh and ice cream isn't a very good bonk-preventer, especially if bought in Causewayhead, near Stirling, before facing a headwind back to Edberg.
What if one day, you have absolutely knackered yourself on a ride, you're nearly home but just can't get any further, so you bounce up onto the kerb to walk the rest of the way, and in doing so you get a puncture by nipping the tyre on the rim, causing two holes side by side...
Snakebonk?
I had a mild bonk the other day on the way back from Linlithgow via Broxburn. Had taken my main packed lunch but forgot to take the seemingly insignificant snack bag with oat bars and chocolate biscuits. Figured I'd make it back fine without needing to stop at a shop. Bad decision. Limped back the last few miles, thankfully with a tailwind, and rectified the situation by consuming roughly half the food ever manufactured.
I can tell you that severe bonk is devastating. The worst bit, aside from the shaking, tunnel vision, blurred and grainy vision, muscle weakness, and sense of absolute impending doom, is the nausea that makes it almost impossible to actually eat anything no matter how much you know you need it. Horrible.
I once got the bonk just after eating. Obviously didn't work quickly enough. Ended up walking up a hill on a sportive - a bit embarrassing at the time. I learnt then to try to stay topped up.
Sometimes a snakebite might be just that:
"Snakebonk?"
Better than BonkBite....
On my first century(and then twenty more miles) I gotted teh bonkz to within an inch of my life. Out with Tom, Amir, Kaputnik, DaveC and Numpty. If they hadn't been there to shepherd me home I'd have been in serious trouble, so thanks again to them.
Last time I went for a 200k I consumed: two packets of Ringos* six brownies, six flapjacks**, two peanut butter and jeely pieces***, one cheese and ham piece, two Nature Valley granola bars, one plate of fish'n'chips and a pint of the Melrose King's Arms own stout****.
*Thus ingesting 48% of my RDA for sodium chloride, although I presume they make an exception for this kind of thing.
**Each was only half the usual size, and since they were on 2-for-1 in the Co-op, I Carradiced them both.
***No offence to Mr Obree, but jam alone is heresy in a sandwich.
****I was after the weakest beer there, but fortunately it was the most interesting on tap anyway
My mouth was a little ragged from all the hasty stuffing, but I like the poet and philosopher Dizee Rascal almost said, some people said I'm bonkers, but I just rode on free.
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