Please critique the following email:
(Context - our office is rather in the middle of the nowhere and has somewhat inadequate car parking. My employer contracts a minibus to transport staff to and from the nearest railway station.)
Dear <unfortunate person whose problem this is>
As I was cycling from the office on my way to the station yesterday afternoon, I noticed a white minibus parked in the layby at the top of the hill. As I passed, the driver pulled out (going in the opposite direction) and I saw that he was using a handheld phone. I saw it quite clearly, held up to his ear. I made a gesture of holding a phone to my ear and then pointed at the driver, which I assume he saw as he put the phone down very quickly.
I then realised that it was the minibus that is contracted to <company X> to take our staff to the station.
I realise that you only have my word for this, but I hope you will have a word where you think it is appropriate.
Regards
fimm
How strongly do you think I should word my last sentence?