Nelly my position on helmets is nearer yours than Dave's having been in group where one rider was paralysed, partial recovery, over handlebars - split helmet etc
My position on debates being that people should try to dismantle their own arguments (in a Popperian sense) rather than using their interpretation of various scraps of evidence to push their own line [sometimes dressed up as rational argument rather than opinion. Rational argument allows for changes in stance following debate, opinion stays constant]
I don't think helmets should be compulsory as I don't think there is enough evidence for this. I don't think it is embarassing for people directly involved in accidents to over attribute the protective power of helmet - you cannot replicate the accident without a helmet to see if you die or are more badly injured.
I do not think helmets reduce the number of people cycling in UK. I know there is data from Australia and Canada and have looked at this with interest. I think helmets do not help but I think neither do they hinder [in UK where use is not compulsory]. Volume of traffic is what anyone will tell you is their reason for not cycling. Working on this [e.g. encouraging new cyclists to try the large cycle path network to get confidence up] and behaviour of car drivers is what we should focus on rather than the moribund helmet debate.
My experience being that this debate has changed my view [I used to take the view of the general public outwith this forum, where the commonsense view would be helmets are good things]. I now say it is about 50/50 and I wear one but have no interest in whether you wear one or not. I am not sure if I am on my own here or if anyone else has shifted their stance at all.
I am also always on the lookout for bad cycling by people wearing helmets