Never read this blog before. Very funny!
Fixies are way dorkier than folding bikes.
Not only that, but folding bikes do everything fixiebikes are supposed to do, only better. You know how a fixiebike with its stupid narrow bars is supposed to be some minimalist urban scalpel with which you can carve your way through traffic as you modulate speed with your legs thanks to your zenlike connection to your pawl-less drivetrain? Yeah, right. The typical fixiebike rider still wears a poorly-disgused "Oh shit!" expression as his "My Little Pony" bike compels him inexorably through intersections, his feet tied to his pedals and all manner of Kickstarter accessories dangling from his designer utility belt. Then, when he finally gets to where he's going, he's forced to execute some stupid "hipster high-lock" maneuver:
Until inevitably (and mercifully for the rest of us) it gets stolen, prompting a plaintive plea on Craigslist.
The folding bike on the other hand really is an urban scalpel in that its tiny wheels and odd geometry allow you to easily wend your way through car traffic. Plus, there's the element of surprise, since at any moment you can fold it down in a matter of seconds. It's the ultimate two-wheeled assault weapon, like an incredibly dorky pair of nunchucks.
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