@Arellcat
"I'm wondering who on earth wrote this?"
Supposedly "GB triathlete and duathlete Ellie Barnes, of Barnes Fitness" as stated in the intro to the article ;-)
I thought it was all reasonable enough. Yes, I know, not everyone's going to agree with the advice on h... umm, #3 but I was ok with the advice given overall. It's one person's personal advice, not as if it's an organisation telling you what you must do.
It's easy to start looking for fault in advice when you don't personally stick to what you're reading. I certainly wouldn't recommend anyone having earphones in - you've just reduced the power of one of your most important cycling senses and likely affected your balance a little too - not good for a beginner.
As for staying off busy roads, again sensible for a beginner (and it did start with "Especially when you’re getting to know your bike..."). We all know cycle lanes are a mix of good and bad but if you start warning of that to a beginner, you're probably more likely to put them off.
Probably less condascending that Vicky Pendleton's efforts: Victoria Pendleton’s top tips for new female cyclists and Victoria Pendleton’s tips for cycling events
But then we were all beginners once and there are probably more people coming to cycling for the first time (at least since childhood) who have little concept of what to expect nowadays.