Storyteller time, perhaps?
Gather round the fire, pilgrims...
My sister and I had been on a bike run with the neighbourhood kids, the age range being 10 to 12, the route ranging about 3 or 4 miles from our houses, the instructions being back before dinner time or we'd be skelped round the ear.
I'd fallen behind the group because I'd stopped to water the trees, so had some spinning to do, and in my haste had forgotten the sharpness of a bend, came off the road at a fair old lick into a ditch and saw that some idiot had left a planet rushing up towards my 11-year old head. Fair sized planet for a rocky inner, although it was both prize irony and bad luck that despite being the only one in the system with a mostly liquid surface, I impacted on the hard stuff.
Some unspecified time later I found myself back on my bike with no real recollection of how I got there, and a strange sensation of something...oh if you're squeamish, skip the next two paragraphs.
Something bouncing up and down on my right ear. I tapped the side of my head and discovered that I was touching solid bone, not the nordic blond hair I had as a youth. Further investigation revealed that I was bleeding really rather heavily and my right shoulder resembled the punch fountain at a vampire Hogmanay.
Since I was back on the bike already and to get off would represent a staggering example of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, I just carried on down the hill until I found the other kids waiting for me and speculating that I'd actually been doing a jobbie. They saw me, soaked from head to hip in blood and looking like JFK just before his head snapped back, and to the left. Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left.
My sister asked if I was alright. I remind her of this every time this story comes up at family gatherings.
This being the days before mobile phones, the kids had to knock on doors until they found someone home, and so it was some time until adult help arrived in the form of my Dad, who was the local GP on call this particular weekend. He then managed a Schrodinger's Catlike display of simultaneous icy cool and flapping panic as he assessed the wound in the tone of voice used for discussing troublesome lawnmowing at the same time as locking himself out the car. My sister had to crawl in through the boot to let us in.
One drive to Ninewells hospital in Dundee and sixty stitches later, I had myself a shiny new scar and a fortnight off school woo hoo! I'd also left a nauseated Royal Marine and a trauma surgeon who simply didn't believe, from looking at my X-rays, that I'd walked into the place unaided.
I came back to discover that all of my friends didn't want to go anywhere near me. I was a little baffled and disconcerted, since I didn't think the scar was that bad, except for the time where the scabbing fell off in dangles, but my sister filled me in as to why. The head of the whole school(Dundee High, which is both primary and secondary, so while we saw the primary headie every week, the Rector was a godlike figure of mystery and awe) had lined up the kids and explained Bruce MacDonald of P7 had a double fracture in his skull and anything hit his head it'd push the unfixed bit of bone into my brain and kill him, at which point the offending child would be expelled so hard their grandchildren would never learn to read.
As I said to Spitfire and the other folk at the HP breakfast ride, I simply don't know if a helmet would have helped because the scar begins an inch below the lid line, but as Spytfyre and Spitters have said, I'm really not going to recreate it in the sake of scientific enquiry.
Even if I do get another fortnight off.